Trying to find a peaceful place in this life can sometimes be difficult. We find short term happiness in materialistic things. We sometimes find short term happiness in relationships with people around us, we go through good times and bad times, happiness and heart ache.
We sometimes find ourselves suffering from illness. Sure there are some people that never get ill, but for those of us that do, we need to find a way to beat it! We need to beat it, not for others but for ourselves. This can be hard at times because so often we just want to give up.
I have wanted to give up so many times, even in the past four days. It was not until I spoke to a mentor of mine last night that I realised where I was going wrong, I needed to bring my focus back onto God. Once I did this I realised that what we are feeling God also feels but he hurts even more as he feels everyone’s pain, people turning away from him, people blind to him, people blaming him for the hurt they have felt.
We are a world full of imperfect people in a perfect world but all God asks is that we focus on him. God cries out for us to love him and share his love with others. We are always fearful of circumstances but so often we forget to fear him. And today I feel so blessed to beloved by him and that I can love him anyway possible.
Today I want to make a public declaration to anyone out there reading this, that I give myself to him, not just through the easy times or the fun times but the tough times as well. For I now know that all I need is him, all I need is him.
As I have been in hospital for the past month I have dwelled on things that aren’t right in my life and tried to work out how I can fix it. I have struggled to reach out to him, the one that has ultimate control and surrender the things only he has control of. We have to remember God has a plan for us and as hard as that may be at times, we just need to accept that and do the best we can for all good, not be selfish or self loathing and accept the cards we have been dealt and move on with our lives in a way that glorifies our lord and saviour. Only then will we find true happiness. True happiness comes from Him.
Four days ago my wife told me that we could not be together anymore and that hurt, I felt empty, I felt useless and a burden on society. I tried to find the only thing I could to harm myself and ultimately go to sleep and not wake up. I thank The Lord today that I was unsuccessful and its never made me see him clearer. I think it’s true sometimes what they say about needing to hit rock bottom before it gets better, so long as we do not have a hard heart, god comes to those that need healing, and I bear witness to that. I couldn’t be more grateful for the help he has given.
If you have been or are still in this place, such a dark place that you feel there is no way out, I invite you to reach out to God and just listen for him, you may not hear anything to start off with but if you intentionally listen, you don’t need to talk to him, you don’t need to ask for anything for he knows what you need, he has a plan for us and he will deliver in the end.
I encourage you all to share your stories with others, this can be great healing for you as we’ll as others out there. For these people need to know they are not alone, that God loves you more than ever.
I titled this article ‘soul searching’ because often we think we need to be soul searching, find out who we are and what our meaning is and what our purpose is in life… Well I encourage you to stop searching for all that, instead begin searching for god. Only he can give you the answers you need.